


exposure is good for ur skin

by maskedskies



Series: works i regret [1]
Category: GOT7, SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Multi, Texting, another college au, chat fic, im shit at tags, jesus is watching, namjin is basically married, purely gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-23 17:04:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12512116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maskedskies/pseuds/maskedskies
Summary: another college au, with lots of drama and tea-sippingorjinglebells: it's okay, exposure is good for ur skin





	1. r.i.p mingming's religion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jambam: can my name not be jambam?  
> \--  
> beautaeful: stfu jimothy im here  
> \--  
> lost boy 1: yug, when i first met you, you literally said  
> and i quote  
> "fucking hell"
> 
> mingming: muted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beautaeful - taehyung  
> chimbles - jimin  
> jinglebells - jin  
> rapdad - rapmonster (namjoon)  
> lost boy 1 - jungkook  
> mingming - mingyu  
> scrubyug - yugyeom  
> jambam - bambam

**_ [Groupchat: jesus is watching_** **_] _ **

**_ [beautaeful, chimbles, jinglebells, rapdad] _ **

 

 **chimbles  
** oMMA THERE'S A NEW FRESHMAN ON THE DANCE TEAM WHAT DO

 **jinglebells**  
why am i the one being asked?

 **chimbles  
** should i have asked dad?

 **jinglebells  
** point taken

 **jinglebells  
** i didn't raise you to be a pussy jimin talk to the man

 **chimbles  
** oh okay

 

_**[Groupchat: the lost ones]** _

_**[lost boy 1, scrubyug, mingming, jambam]** _

**jambam  
** can my name not be jambam?

 **lost boy 1**  
sorry you're not living this down  
strawberry jambam

 **scrubyug**  
i mean  
you probably could live it down if we cared enough to let it go, but like

 **lost boy 1  
** damn what a sentence

 **scrubyug  
** guys he cursed where's the alarm

 **mingming  
** reporting for duty

 **lost boy 1:**  
yug, when i first met you, you literally said  
and i quote  
"fucking hell"

 **mingming  
** muted

 **jambam  
** rip mingming's religion

**_[Groupchat: jesus is watching]_ **

**_[beautaeful, chimbles, jinglebells, rapdad]_ **

**chimbles**  
omma  
he has friends

 **rapdad**  
already? dang  
it's, like, the fifth day of the school year

 **jinglebells  
** hey, where's tae? he's not been here in forever

 **chimbles  
** well

 **beautaeful  
** stfu jimothy im here

 **jinglebells**  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's okay, I know this was shitty. Next chapter, it'll be better, I promise!  
> For the record, I wasn't actually going to post this until I got encouragement from an author that my writing is actually decent so  
> I'm OUT! ~Sel


	2. outed and adopted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rapdad: i have a boyfriend  
> suga: oh shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rapdad - rapmonster (namjoon)  
> jinnie, jinglebells - seokjin  
> bountaeful, mr. jeon - taehyung  
> jimbles - jimin

**_[Group Chat: friends!]_ **

**_[suga, hoseok, rapdad]_ **

**suga  
** why is our name "friends!"?

 **hoseok**  
because it is, deal with it

 **rapdad**  
i don't necessarily want to be here right now  
my son's having an existential crisis over some freshman on the dance team

 **suga**  
i have so many questions  
i'm not sure if i want to ask any of them

 **hoseok  
** namjoonie??????????

 **rapdad  
** i said what i said

 **suga  
** first off, you have a kid who's two years younger than you?

 **rapdad**  
two, actually  
and they're one year younger

 **hoseok  
** so people you consider as sons?

 **rapdad**  
...no  
forget i said anything  
i shouldn't have said anything

 **suga  
** i'm really confused, namjoonie

 **rapdad  
** i'm sorry, just pleaes forget baotu it

 **suga  
** are you in the studio?

 **rapdad**  
yeah  
please don't  
i'm okay just like  
forget what i said

 **suga  
** namjoonie

 **rapdad  
** suga hyung

 **suga  
** i'm coming over

 **hoseok  
** i'm coming down

 **rapdad  
** i have a boyfriend

 **suga  
** oh shit

_**[Groupchat: jesus is watching]** _

_**[bountaeful, jimbles, jinglebells, rapdad]** _

**rapdad**  
  
i have two questions

1\. why is taehyung mysteriously not present?

 **jimbles  
** i can answer that

**rapdad**

great  
2\. how did we even adopt you shits in the first place?

**jinglebells**

oh, joonie  
let me take you down the road of how we gained kids

 **rapdad**  
it really only requires a one-sentence answer  
oh dear you've been typing for awhile what have i caused

**jinglebells**

namjoonie, i told you a long time ago that i wanted kids, probably in my sophomore year of college, and then these two idiots mysteriously showed up when they were freshmen, they stuck to you like gloves, and they were adorable little best friends who didn't have that much life experience, so i adopted them.  
*we adopted them.

there we go a one-sentence answer

 **rapdad**  
i question myself every day  
honetly what is life  
and why are we here on this earth  
god i fucked up so much i copmletely outed my relationship with hyou jinnnie

 **jinglebells  
** what

 **rapdad  
** i was talking about how my kid was whining about some new freshman

 **jimbles  
** look he's really good okay i feel threatened as co-captain

 **rapdad  
** and they kept asking me about this kid that i referred to and i felt overwhelmed

 **jinglebells**  
oh joonie  
you've fucked up  
what do you think they'll do?

 **rapdad**  
i don't know  
shit i hear hoseok coming down the stairs  
im fucked what if they unfriendme

 **bountaeful  
** damn dad abandoned the punctuation what happened

 **jinglebells**  
scroll the fuck up you neglectful child  
you've not been on this chat for a solid three days except for when jimin almost exposed you like an hour ago  
and don't fucking think i've forgotten about that near-exposure

 **bountaeful  
** muted

 **jinglebells  
** do you want to eat tonight

 **bountaeful**  
unmuted  
reluctantly and unwillingly  
but fueled by my love of food

 **jimbles**  
there are three things tae loves in this world  
puppies

 **bountaeful**  
i stg park jimin if you speak one more damn word  
i have shit on you too bastard

 **jimbles**  
...puppies  
food  
...and

 **jinglebells**  
omg  
so namjoon outed himself  
and taehyung has a crush?????

 **jimbles  
** sounds pretty accurate

 **bountaeful**  
bitch  
hey remember when you had a crush on yoongi-hyung?  
and he was _painfully straight?_  
:)

 **rapdad  
** what

 **jinglebells  
** joonie our children are fighting

 **rapdad**  
i'm having an existential crisis rn  
yoongi-hyung is outside the door  
should i let him in or no

 **jimbles**  
isn't it his studio?

 **bountaeful**  
idk, jimin  
you'd know

 **jimbles**  
i guess i would  
mr. jeon

**[ _bountaeful_ has left the chat]**   
** [ _jinglebells_ has added _Kim Taehyung_ to the chat] **  
** [ _jinglebells_ has changed _Kim Taehyung_ 's name to _mr. jeon]_ **

**mr.** **jeon**  
i hate all of you

 **jinglebells**  
don't worry joonie  
i'll be there in 5

* * *

 

Jin was there in more like 3, carrying food and wearing sunglasses. He crossed the street, tilting his head at the sight of Yoongi leaning on the door. He looked remarkably like he was sleeping.

Jin crossed his arms, standing in front of Yoongi. Just as he was about to say something, Yoongi said it for him.

"I'm assuming you're Namjoon's boyfriend?

Jin, to say the least, was confused. For one, Yoongi's eyes were closed. Secondly, according to Namjoon, Yoongi didn't know who exactly Namjoon was dating.

Yoongi opened his eyes, regarding Jin with tired interest. "You know, I've known Namjoon for three years. You'd think he'd tell me that he's gay."

"He's not," Jin said before he could stop himself. He adjusted his grip on his plastic bag, looking around to make sure nobody was listening. "He's pan."

"That's still slightly gay," Yoongi countered, hoisting himself off of the door. "Think you can convince him to open up?"

Jin regarded Yoongi carefully. "You're okay with this? I know how close he is with you. You're not going to stop being friends with him, are you? This doesn't change anything?"

Yoongi offered a sly half-smile as he fished a key out of his pocket and unlocked the studio door. "Not a thing, Jin-hyung. We're in a country full of homophobes. It's tiring, hating an entire group of people."

Yoongi opened the door, seeming to enjoy Jin's shocked face.

Jin was confused. "You could've gotten in the entire time?"

Yoongi pretended like he couldn't hear him. "It's tiring," he continued, "especially when you're one of them."

* * *

 

**_[Private chat]_ **

**_[_** _**rapdad, jinnie]  
** _

**jinnie**  
  
can we adopt him?

 **rapdad  
** no


	3. bbfffad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [jinglebells]  
> just wait until they're drunk  
> the amount of boys jimin has fucked in college is more than joonie has in his whole life  
> truly my son
> 
> [rapdad]  
> and how many boys have you fucked, jinnie?
> 
> [jinglebells]  
> approximately two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mr. jeon, jeongucci, gucci - taehyung  
> chimbles - jimin  
> jinglebells - jin  
> rapdad - rapmonster (namjoon)

**_[Groupchat: jesus is watching]  
[mr. jeon, chimbles, jinglebells, rapdad]_ **

  
**_[jinglebells_ has added _hoseok_ to the chat]  
[ _jinglebells_ has added _suga_ to the chat]**

**rapdad**  
jin i told you that we couldn't adopt them

 **jinglebells**  
it's a new day  
there are new laws in place  
kids, you have two new siblings  
introduce yourselves

 **chimbles**  
i'm chimbles  
park jimin  
hi hoseok

 **hoseok**  
hey chimbles  
btw i'll be late for practice today, can you lead warmups?

 **chimbles  
** sure thing

 **mr. jeon**  
holy shit  
is this  
is this  
is this  
_min yoongi_?

 **chimbles**  
oh shit  
can they see our earlier messages, dad?

 **jinglebells**  
*omma  
of course, chimbles  
is there something they shouldn't be seeing?  
:)

**[ _chimbles_ has left the chat]**

**hoseok**  
@mr jeon  
i'm assuming your name is jeon something?

 **mr. jeon**  
fucking hell it's not  
it's kim taehyung  
why is my name still mr. jeon

 **jinglebells  
** because I took away your name-changing rights

 **rapdad  
** he's not going to give it back until he figures out your crush, tae

 **mr. jeon**  
fuck this  
i won't cave

 **jinglebells**  
oh no, honey  
i already know who your crush is

 **mr. jeon  
** what

 **jinglebells**  
he's on the dance team and his name is jeon something  
literally not that hard  
basic stalking

 **rapdad  
** oh my god

 **suga  
** so these are the kids?

 **rapdad  
** somehow, yes

 **suga**  
i'm rather confused.  
when was i painfully straight?

 **rapdad**  
well let me walk you through the politics of Korea  
where everyone is painfully straight  
and those of us who aren't  
are literally in closets.

 **suga**  
i see your point.  
well, just to clarify, i'm not "painfully straight".  
I'm technically "painfully bi".

 **jinglebells  
** i'm "painfully pan"

 **rapdad  
** same

 **jinglebells**  
and our son here is painfully gay  
for a certain  
jeon jeongguk

 **hoseok**  
ooo really?  
he's really good tbh  
when i graduate, i'm definitely making him co-captain  
he's already accepted into the force team

 **mr. jeon**  
damn really  
and can someone change my fucking name

 **jinglebells**  
mmm  
not until you're fucking jeongguk

**[ _chimbles_ has entered the chat]  
[ _chimbles_ has changed _mr. jeon_ 's name to _jeongucci_ ]**

**jeongucci**  
chimbles  
:)

**[ _chimbles_ has changed _jeongucci_ 's name to _gucci_ ]**

**gucci**  
thanks bae  
you're the best  
bbfffad

 **chimbles  
** bbfffad

 **hoseok  
** what

 **rapdad  
** best brother friends for forever after death

 **suga**  
that's disgustingly cute  
your sons are adorable

 **jinglebells**  
just wait until they're drunk  
the amount of boys jimin has fucked in college is more than joonie has in his whole life  
truly my son

 **rapdad  
** and how many boys have you fucked, jinnie?

 **jinglebells  
** approximately two

 **rapdad  
** nice to know

 **suga  
** i, on the other hand, am now burdened with useless information.

 **hoseok  
** get over it, love

 **suga**  
shouldn't you be studying, sunshine?  
:)

 **gucci**  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
what

 **hoseok  
** i, too, am "painfully bi"

 **suga  
** did you just imply?

 **hoseok  
** did i not just imply?

 **suga**  
i don't need an existential crisis right now, hoseok.  
give me a straight answer.

 **hoseok  
** i'm not.

**[ _suga_ has muted the chat]**


	4. the jung hoseok phase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lost boy one - jungkook  
> jambam - bambam  
> scrubyug - yugyeom  
> mingming - mingyu

**_ **[Groupchat: the lost boys]** _ **

**_ **_[lost boy 1, jambam, scrubyug, mingming]_ ** _ **

**_ **** _ **

****jambam** **

guys

guys

guys guess what

 

****lost boy 1** **

i think i know what this is about

i also think i don’t want to

 

****jambam** **

correct

 

****scrubyug** **

omg

did you finally get dirt on jeongguk?

it’s literally been like a week in college and nobody’s gotten dirt

 

****jambam** **

The tastiest dirt assholes

Bow down to me

I saw jeongguk checking out this guy in his photography class

 

****lost boy 1** **

Wtf

You’re not even in my photography class

You’re not taking photography

How the fuck

 

****jambam** **

Boy don’t think I don’t watch you

I have picture proof

and the winner

 

 ** **scrubyug**** ** **  
**** omf

I saw that guy today with jimin-ssi from the dance team

I think they’re dating?????????

 

****Jambam** **

They’re not, don’t worry

They’re just really close

Probably fucked a few times

 

 ** **Lost boy 1**** **  
** omg guys no it’s not like that  
he’s just a nice hyung in my photography class  
we sit across from each other sometimmes

 

****Jambam** **

Omg he worships him

 

****Lost boy 1** **

Fuck off bambam

Just because you and all your friends are dating doesn’t mean I have to like someone

 

 ** **Jambam**** ** **  
**** hey, mark hyung’s not dating anyone

 

 ** **Scrubyug**** ** **  
**** yes he is, you idiot

He’s dating jackson and youngjae

 

****Jambam** **

Omg I forgot

 

**scrubyug**

you fucking got them together you idiot

 

**jambam**

fine gukkie point taken

But hey, at least you already know you’re gay

You don’t have to go through a Jung Hoseok breakdown again

 

****Lost boy 1** **

Stfu that was a phase

And you went through a jung hoseok phase too

 

****Jambam** **

bitch everyone went through a jung hoseok phase

Right, yug?

 

****Scrubyug** **

Sometimes I question if I ever left

 

 ** **Jambam**** ** **  
**** since you’re dating me, I would hope so

 

****Scrubyug** **

Did you leave?

 

****Jambam** **

Point taken

 

****Lost boy 1** **

How did I end up with a bunch of gay idiots?

 

****Scrubyug** **

I ask myself the same question on a daily basis


	5. i need a new son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [jinglebells]  
> i’m bored  
> i need a new son
> 
> [rapdad]  
> omg jin no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jinglebells - seokjin  
> rapdad - rapmonster (namjoon)  
> chimbles, jimjams - jimin  
> beautaeful - taehyung  
> lost boy 1 - jungkook  
> mingming - mingyu  
> scrubyug - yugyeom  
> jambam - bambam  
> youngjoy - youngjae  
> yabblejabble - jaebum  
> gayoung - jinyoung

**_ **[Groupchat: jesus is watching]** _ **

**_ **_[beautaeful, chimbles, jinglebells, rapdad, hoseok, suga]_ ** _ **

**_ **** _ **

****Jinglebells** **

I’m bored

I need a new son

 

****Rapdad** **

Omg jin no

 

****Hoseok** **

A new brother?

Im in

 

****Suga** **

Ugh

 

****Jinglebells** **

All of you guys are invited to dinner today

 

****Chimbles** **

Ayyyyyy

Im on my way

 

****Rapdad** **

You’re already here stfu

 

****Jinglebells** **

And I’m inviting jungkook

 

****Beautaeful** **

Omma

Pls

I don’t like jungkook

 

****Jinglebells** **

Rly

 

****Beautaeful** **

Fuck off omma

He’s beautiful okay

He’s in my photography class as a fucking freshman, omma

He’s smart and he has cool friends

Like hoseok

 

****Hoseok** **

I adit it

Im a cool friend of jungkookie’s

 

****Beautaeful** **

Oml jungkookie

That’s such a cute name omf im dyinf

 

****Suga** **

Same

 

****Hoseok** **

If you’re invitin him, don’t you need his numebr?

 

****Jinglebells** **

Funnily enough, I alredy have it

 

****Beautaeful** **

Omg omma

You’ve never talked to him????????

 

****jinglebells** **

Maybe so

But on the dance list, it includes every dancer’s contact information

Right, chimbles?

 

****Chimbles** **

correct, omma

Sorry taehyung I was ranting about jungkook

I didn’t realise that his contact information was in the list

 

****Beautaeful** **

Omma no

You’re going to embarrass me

And him

But mostly me

 

****Jinglebells** **

Exposure is good for ur skin

 

****Beautaeful** **

Omg

 

**_ **_[Private Chat: hey dancer boy]_ ** _ **

**_ **_[jinglebells, lost boy 1]_ ** _ **

 

****Jinglebells** **

Im sure there’s some delicious story behind your name

But that’s not why I’m here

I’m taehyung’s omma

Your hyung, btw

You’re invited to dinner tonight at my house

Good luck blocking me, my new son’s into computer science

 

 

**_ **_[Groupchat: the lost boys]_ ** _ **

**_ **_[lost boy 1, jambam, scrubyug, mingming]_ ** _ **

 

****Lost boy 1** **

[screenshot.jpg]

Wtf

 

****Jambam** **

Ooo, taehyung

Kim taehyung?

Do you know him?

 

****Lost boy 1** **

I

He’s someone in my photography class

The guy you thought I was checking out

 

****Scrubyug** **

Ooo

Can we come too

 

****Lost boy 1** **

Absolutely not

 

****Jambam** **

Thanks for the invitation

We’llbe there @7

 

****Lost boy 1** **

You don’t know where he lives tho

 

****Jambam** **

Do you?

 

****Lost boy 1** **

No

 

****Jambam** **

I’ll find out hold on

 

**_ **_[Groupchat: the Jung Hoseok phase]_ ** _ **

**_ **_[jambam, scrubyug, youngjoy, yabblejabble, gayoung, lost boy 1, jimjams]_ ** _ **

**_ **** _ **

****[**** ** _ ** _jambam_**_** ** **has kicked****   ** _ ** _lost boy 1_**_** ** **from the chat]****

****

****Jambam** **

Guys

Who’s kim taehyung? Anybody know?

More importantly, who’s his mom?

 

****Jimjams** **

Taetae? Lol he’s my brother

Not like my actual brother, we were both adopted by jin-hyung

He just graduated last year

Why are you asking about taetae?

 

****Jambam** **

[screenshot.jpg]

Jungkookie just came into a chat I have with a few other people

Screaming about some random person

Claiming to be his classmate’s omma

 

****Jimjams** **

Omg omma has no chill

he was just inviting jungkookie over to dinner bc he wants another son

 

****Jambam** **

What about this “new son”

 

****Jimjams** **

Well

Hold your dicks, guys

His new son is hoseok

He adopted him like yesterday

 

****Jambam** **

Great chat

Where does he live?

Yug and I will be there @7

 

****[jimjams has turned on his location]** **

****

****

**_ **_[Groupchat: the lost boys]_ ** _ **

**_ **_[lost boy 1, jambam, scrubyug, mingming]_ ** _ **

****

****Jambam** **

[screenshot.jpg]

[screenshot 1.jpg]

[screenshot 2.jpg]

You’re welcome @lost boy 1

 

****Lost boy 1** **

Is this why I got kicked out of the jung hoseok chat

You bastard

 

****Scrubyug** **

Hey I’m innocent

 

**lost boy 1  
**

you're dating the bastard tho

 

**scrubyug**

true statement

see u tonight @jungkookie


	6. dinner hacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jambam:  
> Hello, world.  
> Bambam's been hacked.  
> You're next.  
> ~ Mingyu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jinglebells - seokjin  
> rapdad - RM (namjoon)  
> chimbles, jimjams - jimin  
> beautaeful - taehyung  
> lost boy 1, kookie - jungkook  
> mingming - mingyu  
> scrubyug - yugyeom  
> jambam - bambam  
> youngjoy - youngjae  
> yabblejabble, im god - jaebum  
> gayoung - jinyoung

** **[Groupchat: the lost boys]** **

** **[lost boy 1, scrubyug, jambam, mingming]** **

 

****scrubyug** **

jungkookie

 

****lost boy 1** **

wtf do you want

 

****scrubyug** **

what should i wear?

to the dinner tonight i mean

it's at jung hoseok's omma's house, like

i can't just show up

 

****lost boy 1** **

omg

you guys weren't even invited wtf

why are you even coming

 

****scrubyug** **

dude it's kinda free food

 

****jambam** **

it's 100% free food

also, you're meeting your future mother-in-law

we have to make good impressions as your best men

 

****scrubyug** **

we'll be the ones sending you off, jungkookie

 

****lost boy 1** **

i hate both of you

 

****mingming** **

personally, I think you guys should wear matching black ties. They're in fashion this season, you know, and compliment both of your complexions.

also, @scrubyug, shouldn't you be asking the jung hoseok chat?

 

****scrubyug** **

idk what to say

kim mingyu I thought you muted this chat

 

****mingming** **

I did you hobo

there's a thing called unmuting

and btw I deleted both of your admin rights so I'm the only admin in this chat rn

better start kissing my ass

 

****jambam** **

mingyu, are in in the jung hoseok chat?

 

****mingming** **

nope!

too gay for me.

besides, I never went through a jung hoseok phase

 

****jambam** **

lmao

lmao

lmao

lmao

lmao

 

****mingming** **

what?

 

****jambam** **

didn't you go to school with him in high school?

didn't you two __date?__

 

****mingming** **

okay, shut up

i was mildly obsessed

_m i l d l y_

but i've not seen him in years, okay?

I know he goes here but it's not like I see him at all.

We’re in completely different departments, remember?

He’s into dancing, according to Jungkookie, and I’m kind of into computer science.

I don’t really know what to do with my life, actually, but that’s not the point.

 

****jambam** **

jambamdamn

 

**scrubyug**

wall of text much

 

**jambam**

so somebody pingmingming into the jung hoseok chat

 

****mingming** **

I hate both of you.

**_ **_[Groupchat: the Jung Hoseok phase]_ ** _ **

**_ **_[jambam, scrubyug, youngjoy, yabblejabble, gayoung, lost boy 1, jimjams]_ ** _ **

****scrubyug** **

can someone add Mingyu into this chat?

 

****jimjams** **

lmao

@mingming

 

****Mingming** **

Gods, the betrayal.

I’ve not been on this chat in literally forever, how’d this even happen?

 

****jimjams** **

you made me an admin, that’s how this happened

you made this chat your sophomore year of high school lmao

and then you left your senior year

mysteriously

 

****jambam** **

[meme]

 

**scrubyug**

babe

did you just

type [meme]

with no meme

 

**jambam**

shhh

 

****mingming** **

It’s called getting to know the hoe you have a crush on, jimin.

He had a crush on someone else, and for all I know they’re dating now.

 

****jimjams** **

woah woah wait

is this min yoongi?

the guy he had a crush on?

bc omma adopted him too and they kinda flirt with each other all the time

 

****scrubyug** **

can we just address this right quick

 

****mingming** **

I’m not sure, actually.

It was this really big underground rapper who went by the name Suga.

Honestly, he was obsessed.

 

**scrubyug**

jimin, how many people has your omma adopted?

 

**mingming**

It was all he’d talk about - suga this, agust d that, mixtape mixtape mixtape

 

****gayoung** **

bc if this jinbitch is one-upping my adoptions skills we’re gonna have a talk

 

****jimjams** **

me, taehyung, yoongi, and hoseok

 

****gayoung** **

shit

yugyeom, you’re adopted

 

****scrubyug** **

i thought I was already adopted

bc I started dating your son

 

**gayoung**

i've only adopted one son so far i needed you yugyeom

my social status yugs

 

**scrubyug**

wtf

 

**youngjoy**

mom?

 

**gayoung**

youngjae

my favourite son

 

**jambam**

the betrayal i

 

**yabblejabble**

hold up

why

how did i even get onto this chat

 

**gayoung**

don't question it babe

we have children now

i've adopted like three

we should make a park-im chat

 

**yabblejabble**

wait

hold up

a park-im chat?

 

**gayoung**

well i need a husband obvs

i'm not going to be a single mom raising these kids

smh keep up jaebs

 

**yabblejabble**

but

wait

was that ur way of asking me out?

 

**gayoung**

lmao

 

**yabblejabble**

...

 

**gayoung**

pick me up at four

we're going to see a movie

and then you're taking me out to dinner at this jinbitch's place

 

**yabblejabble**

do i get a say in

y'know what

i'll be there

what the fuck ever

 

**youngjoy**

get it dad

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

**_ **[Groupchat: jesus is watching]** _ **

**_ **_[beautaeful, chimbles, jinglebells, rapdad, hoseok, suga]_ ** _ **

 

****jinglebells****

why is there a fucking bus parked outside of my house

 

**chimbles**

holy shit

there actually is

 

**rapdad**

smh

guys it's a van

it's a really large- holy shit that actually looks like a bus though

 

**chimbles**

oh my god

omma

how much food did you cook?

 

**jinglebells**

a hell of a lot, as usual

why?

 

**chimbles**

I think

I think it's the park-im family

 

**jinglebells**

what

 

**chimbles**

it's

it's too much to explain

i think jungkookie accidentally brought his friends

 

**jinglebells**

in a fucking bus?

accidentally my ass

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

** _[jinglebells has created the groupchat: jesus is watching the park-ims]_ **

** _[jinglebells, rapdad, gayoung, im god, suga, hoseok, chimbles, beautaeful, youngjoy, jambam, jimjams, lost boy 1, scrubyug]_ **

 

**gayoung**

youngjae, i've never met your boyfriends

this needs to be fixed

next time dinner's at my place and you're bringing your boyfriends

you can never have too many children

 

**jambam**

lmao be prepared omma

 

**jingllebells**

jungkookie ur adopted

 

**jambam**

jackson's wild

 

**lost boy 1**

omg this chat moves too fast

 

**suga**

hey hoseok

can you pick up some milk on the way to the studio?

 

**hoseok**

sure thing love

 

**suga**

thanks sunshine

 

**jambam**

i need to check something

is everyone gayish in here?

bc like

everyone seems gayish

 

**gayoung**

we're all comprised of different layers of gay

 

**rapdad**

okay this needs to stop

 

**[ _rapdad_ has enabled 'slow mode']**

 

**rapdad**

this chat goes too fast

we're overwhelming my new son

how many sons do we even have now

 

**jinglebells**

all of my sons say aye

 

**jimjams**

aye

 

**beautaeful**

aye

 

**lost boy 1**

aye

???????????

 

**suga**

aye

somehow

albeit reluctantly

without my permission or consent

 

**hoseok**

aye

 

**jinglebells**

okay

so

thanks everyone for coming to dinner

like

two days ago!

it was fun

my house was stretched

many people showed up

although i only invited one

but hey friends are cool

and also

 

**[ _jinglebells_ has changed _lost boy 1_ 's nickname to _kookie]_**

 

 

**jingebells**

welcome to the family, brat

i serve dinner at 7

be there or be straight

 

**kookie**

i'm honestly so confused

 

**scrubyug**

it was nice meeting you, taehyung!

you as well, @jimjams ;)

 

**jambam**

agreed, it was absolutely wonderful

 

**jimjams**

honestly, we should get together more often ;)

this dinner did wonderful things for our relationships

don't you think, tae?

 

**beautaeful**

jimin

 

**jimjams**

try me, bitch

you have nothing

and i have everything

 

**im god**

i'm honestly so confused rn

can i start a confused chat

 

**kookies**

i'm already in too many chats

 

**jambam**

mingyu already has a confused chat

i'll add you

 

**kookies**

you can't

mingyu took away our admin rights in every chat we share

 

**jambam**

are you fucking serious

mingyu's such an unnecessarily extra bitch i stg

ur dormmate needs to fucking chill

 

**kookies**

um

bammie hyung

mingyu's into computer science

you do know that

right?

so

 

**jambam**

Hello, world.

Bambam's been hacked.

You're next.

~ Mingyu

 

**hoseok**

oh hell no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, they are now about two weeks into college!


End file.
